Funny Breastfeeding Memories

Here our Emma-Jane mums give us an insight into the funnier side of breastfeeding

• I was using a breast  pump once, when a man asked me if I was making cheese! I thought he was joking and laughed!  I have since found a site on the internet where they actually sell cheese made from breast milk.
• I was sitting with friends in a park in Leicester breastfeeding my baby, when a man rode by on a bike.  He stared so hard, he wobbled like mad and fell off!  Boy, did we laugh!!
• When I was suffering from cracked nipples I was desperate for some relief and tried an old wives remedy.  I chilled a few large cabbage leaves in the fridge and then lay them on my nipples.  For a couple of seconds it felt great but the leaking milk soon mingled with the warm leaves….and it smelt terrible like rotting veg.
• By baby number three I could answer the door to the postman whilst feeding, managing a toddler hanging off my leg and being the phone – now that’s what I call multi-tasking!
• The inevitable embarrassing leakage patches and having to rush home to change while desperately shoving toilet roll in my bra to limit further damage and searching for something to cover up
• Standing under the hand dryer in the ladies to ‘resolve’ the wet patch
• Being bitten my baby – now that’s painful and also indicated to me that it was time to move on from breastfeeding
• Not funny but poignant..all of my final feeds have been a middle of the night feed when the house has been silent, the world is calm and it’s just me and my baby enjoying our last feed together in the rocking chair
• Breastfeeding memory – feeling my breasts at every feed to try and remember which side to start
• Feeding in front of my dad and actually my father in law and feeling quite natural about getting my breasts out – but the thoughts of doing that now fills me with utter horror.
• Your breasts feel  like a milking cows udder when utilizing an electric pump and the shape your nipples stretch to has to be seen to be believed
• Walking around with my arms encircled in front of me when making the move to bottle feeds – the thought of anyone bumping into my tender, swollen and extremely sensitive breasts during those initial days bordered frightening - talk about defining your personal space!
• Being shown the size of my friend’s breasts and asked if that was normal as they’d grown to gigantic proportions during pregnancy – I had to be honest as say they were the biggest pair I’d ever seen