Got Milk?

We're delighted to take our blog international this week with Sash - an Australian writer, living in Indonesia who's a mother and insatiable traveller. Writer and founder of the blog Inked in Colour, here she blindly navigates her way through first time motherhood, battling large rats, dodgy electricity and the never-ending distraction that is wanderlust.

Herefor us she writes about her expereinces breastfeeding in Indonesia and the influence western culture has had on women there....

Got Milk?

It wasn’t until I got pregnant that I even gave breastfeeding a second thought. I always just assumed it was something that everyone does. I even worked as a nanny for two different babies, one who I fed formula and the other expressed breast milk, and even then, I thought nothing of it. When I was pregnant, still, I thought little of it… breast feeding was just something I saw as a given. People said to me about a thousand times during my pregnancy… no one tells you how hard breastfeeding is, no one tells you, be prepared, it doesn’t always come naturally. I heard this so many times that instead of being what no one ever tells me, it was the thing that EVERYONE told me.

No one told me it was natural, and that it could be not only enjoyable, but easy. But it was. It is.

Breastfeeding Bo has been a pleasure. She easily took to the boob and we were very blessed with no feeding troubles, no pain, no cracked nipples to speak of. And now, four and a half months into her glorious life we are still going strong with absolutely no stopping on the horizon. I love feeding her, I love the way she looks at me, the comfort it gives her, the calm, the love and the incredible peace that seems to envelop us. 

Yes, it gets exhausting. Yes, some nights I wish I could just sleep instead. Yes, there are times I wish desperately that her dad could take over so I could shower, brush my teeth, eat, sleep, think, clean the spew from my shoulder… Yes, I have also heard call from formula mama’s that it helps their babies sleep through the night, and for me, with up to three or four feeds during the night, I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been tempted to try. But at the end of the day, I’d never swap it for anything – not even fifteen minutes to go to the toilet, alone (but, gosh, wouldn’t that be nice?).

Living in a remote village in Indonesia one would think that breastfeeding is the norm, and I’m sure it was, in the not too distant past. But these days, things are different. There is a huge shift in this part of the developing world where people who live here are so desperate for a better shot in life that they will do anything to feel like they are getting there. Indonesian law is actually on the side of breastfeeding, there are laws in place that protect the breastfeeding mother from discrimination in the work or home, but is that enough to keep women breastfeeding? 

Formula is perceived as western, western is perceived as powerful, wealthy and modern… and that’s what people want. It’s the new way, but of course it is not the only way. There are still more traditional women who can be seen boob out in the rice field, a little brown face poking out of a batik sling, latched on to his mama. Mothers milk is still a coveted thing by older generations. Bo, being the well rounded Buddha that she is, is often mistaken for a baby three times her age… and people are shocked that she is exclusively breastfed. My husband’s grandparents are proud. They are from a different era, the era when breast was not only best, it was the only option.

Breast is best, for us. It has been from the very beginning. I understand that for some women, the breast is not the best option. I understand that some women can’t, find it difficult to or have circumstances that just don’t make it possible. I also understand that some women choose not to. Being the pro-choice woman I am, I can’t find a single fault in that. I can’t say that I love the fear that is often put into the minds of breastfeeding mothers, the fear that they don’t have ample enough supply, the fear that their baby is not sleeping as long as formula fed babies, the fear that their baby is gaining too much or not enough… I think it’s truly a bit cruel. I can’t say I love all of the paraphernalia that our western world attaches to breastfeeding – the endless industry of breastfeeding gadgets all advertised without a single breast in view.

I’ve found in my simple life out here that all we need is me and Bo. We have no use for fancy pillows or colour coded wrist bands or feeding “aps” or anything like that. When I think of the sanitation issues that come with living in a place like we do, I can’t imagine the logistical nightmare that I would have pumping, let alone sterilising bottles or keeping formula from getting damp. It’s just us, and the simplicity of that is what makes breastfeeding so special to me.

Breastfeeding is a hot topic and always will be – it’s at the heart of what makes a woman a mother – feeding and caring for their child. It’s not surprising that it is an extremely emotional issue.  I agree that there needs to be better support for breastfeeding mothers, but I also think there should be better support for all mothers in general.

Motherhood isn’t easy, it’s a bloody tough gig with very little rest and no overtime. If we could all find it in our hearts to stop judging each-others choices and just concentrate on making the right choice for ourselves and our children and support each other instead – the world would surely be a much nicer place.

Got milk? Give milk. Simple.