LOVE YOURSELF - DAY 7 - RELATIONSHIPS

We're almost there - tomorrow us the day you're swamped in flowers and jewels and chocolate from your beloved, with a lavish night out at an expensive restaurant. Or possibly not. Perhaps just a quiet night in front of the telly with a mug of cocoa and the gift of a him doing the night feed. In today's Emma-Jane Valentine's Day Love Yourself post, we're looking at relationships.

Before you had a baby, you were Alice and Bob (or insert your own names here). Two individuals in love. Then along comes a baby. And all of a sudden things change.

All those kisses and cuddles you used to give to him, now get doled out on the baby. You stop talking about whether to go to Fiji or Barbados for your next holiday, and instead discuss the contents of this morning's nappy. Sleep is infinitely more appealing than sex. You start to resent that it's always you who has to pack the change bag and that it's you who never gets to leave the house while he heads out the door to work in the morning. And can't believe that he can merrily snore through the baby crying - again.

Before you know it, you start to wonder if you even love each other anymore. You realise that you've become a resentful nag who looks like a frump and you wouldn't be surprised if he was off chasing secretaries at the office, because what the hell would he see in you right now? And quite frankly, you're not even sure you care. But you do and you feel rubbish about it.

You blame yourself (well you also blame him but deep down you blame yourself). You start to think if only I looked better. If only we could go back to what we used to be like. I wish we could communicate more. And you once again beat yourself up about where you're going wrong. Worst of all, you think it's just you two that are having these problems while all those other smug, married parents are blissfully happy.

They're not. Almost every couple goes through a massive period of readjustment after a baby is born. Each of them is a new person. They have new roles. And they're trying to figure out how to overlay these two new roles onto their existing selves. It takes a while. A long while. The key is to communicate. That can be much harder than it sounds. After months of sniping about whose turn it is to get up in the morning, you've probably forgotten how to just talk like you used.

So practice, whenever you can. Try to get out as a couple regularly - or simply spend an evening playing a board game and chatting over a glass of wine at home. You need to learn to love him in his new role. And you need to learn to love yourself in your new role. Give it time. Most importantly though, you need to realise that this is normal. Believe in yourself and you as a couple and it will be alright in the end.

Just in case you need something to nibble on while spending a romantic evening talking to your partner on Valentine's Day, leave us a comment below on how having a baby has affected your relationship or Like Us on Facebook, to be entered into our draw.

Love Yourself - Day 7 - Post-baby recovery

We're half way through our Love Yourself Valentine's Day campaign in which we're encouraging mums and mums-to-be to cut themselves some slack and give themselves some love.

Day 7 - Recovery after giving birth
Yesterday we covered that topic: giving birth. But what many people don't discuss is what those first 24 hours are like after you've had a baby. Most mums just think about getting that baby out and they'll deal with whatever comes next then. But those first 24 hours are worth considering.

Just after you've given birth, you will be flooded with adrenalin and endorphins. You'll be on a high, despite being absolutely shattered. You might not have slept for 48 hours before but that doesn't mean you're going to nod off once the baby comes out. For a start, you have a baby!! You'll want to stare at him, hold him, stroke his soft skin. Your emotions will be going loop-de-loop and the incredulity of being the proud owner of a small person will start to hit you.

Then there're the practicalities to deal with. Avert your eyes now if you're squeamish. There may be stitching down below that has to happen. You'll be encouraged to try and breastfeed your baby - and you probably won't have a clue how to do it and it's another new thing to learn while you're tired. Your body will ache as though you've just run a marathon. You will bleed and bleed and bleed. You'll be needing some of these for that.

You'll eventually get to have a much needed bath or shower. Finally the exhaustion will start to overcome everything else and you will want to sleep. And luckily, most babies are just as exhausted by the process as you are and will sleep too. But after a few hours, someone will wake you up and tell you that you need to feed your baby. And even though you could still sleep for another 2 days, you get up and start what will become a bleary-eyed 4 hourly ritual.

Do you realise mums just how awesome an achievement all of this is? Do you ever go back and think 'I managed all that'? Never forget how much you did, how your body was able to recover, even if it felt like it never would, and how even though you had to take a crash course in learning a million new skills - you did it! So love yourself.

We think mums deserve a bit of a treat, so if you fancy some chocolates, simply leave us a comment below or Like Us on Facebook to be entered in our draw.