We're delighted to take our blog international this week with Sash - an Australian writer, living in Indonesia who's a mother and
insatiable traveller. Writer and founder of the blog Inked in Colour, here she blindly navigates her way through first
time motherhood, battling large rats, dodgy electricity and the never-ending
distraction that is wanderlust.
Herefor us she writes about her expereinces breastfeeding in Indonesia and the influence western culture has had on women there....
Got Milk?
It wasn’t until I got pregnant that I even
gave breastfeeding a second thought. I always just assumed it was something
that everyone does. I even worked as a nanny for two different babies, one who
I fed formula and the other expressed breast milk, and even then, I thought
nothing of it. When I was pregnant, still, I thought little of it… breast
feeding was just something I saw as a given. People said to me about a thousand
times during my pregnancy… no one tells
you how hard breastfeeding is, no one tells you, be prepared, it doesn’t always
come naturally. I heard this so many times that instead of being what no
one ever tells me, it was the thing that EVERYONE told me.
No one told me it was natural, and that it
could be not only enjoyable, but easy. But
it was. It is.
Breastfeeding Bo has been a pleasure. She
easily took to the boob and we were very blessed with no feeding troubles, no
pain, no cracked nipples to speak of. And now, four and a half months into her
glorious life we are still going strong with absolutely no stopping on the
horizon. I love feeding her, I love the way she looks at me, the comfort it
gives her, the calm, the love and the incredible peace that seems to envelop
us.
Yes, it gets exhausting. Yes, some nights I wish I could just sleep instead.
Yes, there are times I wish desperately that her dad could take over so I could
shower, brush my teeth, eat, sleep, think, clean the spew from my shoulder…
Yes, I have also heard call from formula mama’s that it helps their babies
sleep through the night, and for me, with up to three or four feeds during the
night, I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been tempted to try. But at the end of
the day, I’d never swap it for anything – not even fifteen minutes to go to the
toilet, alone (but, gosh, wouldn’t that
be nice?).
Living in a remote village in Indonesia one
would think that breastfeeding is the norm, and I’m sure it was, in the not too
distant past. But these days, things are different. There is a huge shift in
this part of the developing world where people who live here are so desperate
for a better shot in life that they will do anything to feel like they are
getting there. Indonesian law is actually on the side of breastfeeding, there
are laws in place that protect the breastfeeding mother from discrimination in
the work or home, but is that enough to keep women breastfeeding?
Formula is
perceived as western, western is perceived as powerful, wealthy and modern… and
that’s what people want. It’s the new way, but of course it is not the only
way. There are still more traditional women who can be seen boob out in the
rice field, a little brown face poking out of a batik sling, latched on to his
mama. Mothers milk is still a coveted thing by older generations. Bo, being the
well rounded Buddha that she is, is often mistaken for a baby three times her
age… and people are shocked that she is exclusively breastfed. My husband’s
grandparents are proud. They are from a different era, the era when breast was
not only best, it was the only option.
Breast is best, for us. It has been from
the very beginning. I understand that for some women, the breast is not the
best option. I understand that some women can’t, find it difficult to or have
circumstances that just don’t make it possible. I also understand that some
women choose not to. Being the pro-choice woman I am, I can’t find a single
fault in that. I can’t say that I love the fear that is often put into the
minds of breastfeeding mothers, the fear that they don’t have ample enough
supply, the fear that their baby is not sleeping as long as formula fed babies,
the fear that their baby is gaining too much or not enough… I think it’s truly
a bit cruel. I can’t say I love all of the paraphernalia that our western world
attaches to breastfeeding – the endless industry of breastfeeding gadgets all
advertised without a single breast in view.
I’ve found in my simple life out here that
all we need is me and Bo. We have no use for fancy pillows or colour coded
wrist bands or feeding “aps” or anything like that. When I think of the
sanitation issues that come with living in a place like we do, I can’t imagine
the logistical nightmare that I would have pumping, let alone sterilising
bottles or keeping formula from getting damp. It’s just us, and the simplicity
of that is what makes breastfeeding so special to me.
Breastfeeding is a hot topic and always
will be – it’s at the heart of what makes a woman a mother – feeding and caring
for their child. It’s not surprising that it is an extremely emotional issue. I agree that there needs to be better support
for breastfeeding mothers, but I also think there should be better support for
all mothers in general.
Motherhood isn’t easy, it’s a bloody tough
gig with very little rest and no overtime. If we could all find it in our hearts
to stop judging each-others choices and just concentrate on making the right
choice for ourselves and our children and support each other instead – the
world would surely be a much nicer place.
Got milk? Give milk. Simple.
